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I have kicked this particular pebble

down the hallway many times.

Too hard, (too late!) one moment

we came to blows, and it flew

a cruel catapult down

several scarred wooden steps

rumbling, tumbling, a bounce

bounce, lo! then a single orbit round

the basement drain.

There’s nowhere to go from here but UP

I breathed. Alas, for months

or is it years? there was naught but dust

and searing guilt – I will get to that

when there is time

to paint the steps, to

trace the circuitous grime,

when cobwebs and coins and virus

fall away to the soot of dusk.

There is value

in starting over, yes – salt

on my cheek, my eye

my heart.

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How I got here

Two dozen months ago I came to the morbid realization that I am too old to have started a lifelong habit. My fledgeling scraps of poetry and writing were sweet but hardly consequential. That bothered me for a while and my adolescent all-or-nothing predisposition dug in its haughty little heels and guess what? I didn’t just stop taking the time to write, I couldn’t force myself to start again. Crazy, isn’t it?

Time continues to march forward and all I have done is consume and not create. What a foolish pursuit (or lack thereof), to give up writing purely for comparative reasons.

We are all familiar with the phrase “you are your own worst critic”. Although I know many folks that are much crueler than I, for the most part this phrase is true.

Fuck the critics.

Let’s do this.